It Can Always Be Worse

Well folks what happened last weekend wasn't  my typical "ahh come on" moment, but more of an "ahh ha, Lord I'm listening."  Here's my story...

My car has been good to me. I've had it for 10 years and recently had to spend more than $600 on repairs. I am one of those frugal people who would prefer to ride the car until the wheels fall off. But this time, I caved and said to my husband that we should go to a dealership to see what they would be willing to offer on a new car. With the "Cash for Clunkers" deal, I was hopeful.

I walked in the dealership with my "I am not, I may and I certainly wont" 's all in tact. I was not going to lease a car because I drive approximately 50 miles per day (total, to and from) work. I was not going to pay a lot per month, but I was willing to consider about 50 bucks more than I wanted to pay. Those were my rules and final offers. (LOL)

All and all, we went to the dealership and LEFT after having decided that it would probably be cheaper to get the repairs and consider a car loan next year.

I haven't had a car payment in more than five years, so I was not going down willingly. Plus, with cutbacks at work, decreased hours (to avoid layoffs) - it just didn't seem like a good time to buy a car. So like I said - we left.

My husband and I sat at a red light COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING! From the car to work to politics to wanting more out of life...and on, and on, and on - we just COMPLAINED!

While in our silo of complaints, ironically, we sat patiently at a red light waiting to make a left turn. We made ourselves useful and complained more. [smile]

The light turned green. We sat there for about five to 10 seconds. Before my husband hit the accelerator, a pick-up truck came barreling through the red light of the cross street. We had no clue the truck was coming and would have just pulled into the street to make a left turn. The truck was going at least 50mph and would have slammed - right -  into - us.

My husband and I played out how horrible that situation could have been. There was a young family also about to walk across the street.

Here we were complaining about having to make repairs on a 10-year-old car that technically needed a tweak or two. Paying car repairs is nothing compared to the financial strain of medical bills or more importantly, the loss of life.

We humbly accepted our lesson and noted, "It can always be worse."

Mickey

Careless Whispers

My dad was driving with my niece in the car. Someone cuts him off and completely forgetting that a human sponge was sitting in a car seat behind him, he calls the driver an "ASS." But knowing my Dad, he didn't say it in quick flash. He said it nice and slow. Kind of like sounding it out but with confidence and extra emphases on the ending "s."

Guess what? My one and a half-year-old niece then says, "A-s-s."

We already think she just short of genius. Her parents spend a lot of time with her teaching her letters and molding her young mind. Here's the kicker: As the aunt whose sole purpose is to spoil, play, tease, and be silly - I called and asked to talk with her. My sister (standing next to her) handed her the phone.

Niece: Hey tee-tee

Mickey: Hey love, I miss you

Niece: I miss you too

Mickey: Did mama tell you what A-S-S was? What's A-S-S?

Clear as day she whispered (with a smile) - assss.


My sister gets on the phone and says "you hear she whispered it because I'm standing here and she knows she's not suppose to say that!"

Somewhere in between she heard us spelling it while talking about her, and like a sponge, picked it up.

Of course now we lend no emotion to it so she emphatically knows not to say it, but I must admit...it was hilarious.

Mickey

Chase THIS!

Yes. That's right. I'm giving you, CHASE, the finger. And to those who occasionally make deposits without using online banking, I salute you.

Here's my story...

I know some of you are not willing to admit this, but, I will. My account was overdrawn. There it is. I said it, yes - OVERDRAWN.

So, it's 6 pm PST and I feverishly go to make a deposit at the ATM (or what some of us Midwesterners call the CASH STATION). I pull up, hop out of the car with envelop in hand, dial my digits and ...what's this? There isn't an option in the ATM menu to make a deposit. Who has ever seen such a thing?

ATM options:

Transfer
Withdrawal
Check balance
Pay something
Scream
Cancel
Pay a fee (OK not this one but I'm on a roll here)


Since this is an account I rarely use (that's my "I'm responsible, don't judge me disclaimer"), I wanted to take care of this as quickly as possible and be on my way. This was an account that I opened in another state before relocating. Here in lies the problem.

Let me back up to the weekend of July 26, 2009. Apparently, this was when Chase would convert all WAMU customers to Chase accounts. I tried to make a deposit that weekend, and the deposit option was again missing. I called Chase and a rep told me to try another bank, of course I did. After three attempts (two banks), I decided to wait until Monday. Monday morning (9am) I go into the bank (that's now only open 9am -6 pm Mon-Fri, unsure about Sat.hours) to make a deposit. I informed the teller of the missing deposit option, he then told me, "Oh that was just for the weekend."

Fast forward to today - I called Chase in a HOT FIT OF RAGE and talked to someone who then had to transfer me to someone else. Five minutes wasted. The next Customer Service Specialist (CSS) I talked with, I explained that this unleashing was not directed at them personally (Side note: I used to be a CSS in another industry and understand how customers can misdirect their anger).

The CSS informed me that they (Chase) had no idea that I'd originally opened my account in another state [and therefore would not have been notified me of this inconvenience and/or other changes as a result of this Chase / WAMU merge]. DOES THIS IN ANY WAY SOUND CONSUMER FRIENDLY?  How would I know they (Chase) didn't know the specifics of my account? I mean, don't they own it (figuratively speaking)?

So... not only have the bank hours changed but for three months, I have to go into a bank to make a deposit. First of all WHO GOES INTO THE BANK ANYMORE!?

Here is what I know from the rep:

• Although all WAMU banks are now Chase, specific states are not completely converted to the Chase system 
  
• Chase sent customers a welcome kit, which did not include the information that deposits could not be made at an ATM in California until OCTOBER 24, 2009.  What an inconvenience!!!!!!!!!!! There are five other states in this group including Arizona.
  

Here is where I used knowledge from a past life and deductive reasoning:

I think Chase may have failed to pull a list of customers who opened a WAMU account in one state and  relocated to another.What a failure on their part if they did overlook this. I'm writing a letter to the corporate office. There are lots of inconvenient changes happening and why should the customer suffer. Granted this may only affect a small sect of customers (or may be not) - the inconvenience is worth mentioning.

Mickey (very teed off!)

Fifty Nifty Sexual Terms

Easy now. It's not what you think.

Even the average adult is somewhat curious (and perhaps appalled) by the title. But can you imagine a handout with definitions of terms like "69, bangin' and anal sex," nicely crafted and distributed to a seventh grader!?  Heck, I don't even want a handout like this.

Is this what sex education has become?

My family and I were having a discussion over the holiday about my seventh-grade God sister who was given a handout as part of sexual education class called, "Fifty Nifty Sexual Terms."

When you look up the phrase on the Internet, nothing educational for a seventh grader is worth mentioning. How is knowing the "69" relevant? Isn't that a different type of sexual education?

Needless to say her parents were highly upset and questioned why parents were not informed (through permission slips) of this class and why abstinence was not being encouraged along with the assumption that "they [teens] are going to do it anyway." The explanation? Something along the lines of socioeconomic conditions vs. environment vs. the need...yada yada yada.

1990s: I remember health class. Back then, sex ed was part of health class and limited to a certain number of weeks within a semester (generally after we'd learned nutrition and exercising). Sex education was about applying a condom, the reproductive organs and a place where you could ask questions that could have been too embarrassing to ask at home. Any frivolity was left in the class and to the comments made by my classmates. It was at the discretion of the instructor whether to answer such questions like, "can a girl get pregnant from pre-ejaculation?" [I had to channel a high-school, hormone raging boy for that question. Believe me, it was even more blunt.] Most times the teacher answered the questions because they knew although asked inappropriately, there was a need to know the answer. I wondered was this "keeping it real" effort what was in mind when distributing this form.

Bottom line: My God sister's parents were the only parents to remove their child from the class. They've said that they teach their child about sex but are not ready to teach her about "anal sex" or the "69." The administrator did not review the material the "instructor" was giving to the children, which is why she didn't know that these nifty terms were abound. My understanding is that the terms on the handout made some adults blush.

Perhaps the administrator needs an education on how despite what may be environmentally common, there are parents who preach and teach alternatives, with the caveat that as parents they are not all knowing.

Mickey

Do I need to see all of THAT!?

Brace yourselves for yet another gym story. This one is short.

So my friend and I (the one from the "B*stard or Fat A*ss..." blog), went to a gym in another area. Not our usual spot, but we're adventurous that way. (LOL) Anyway, we were really excited because we'd found a kick-boxing class that turned out to be FABULOUS!

After the class ended, we were exhausted. I mean sweat-filled shirt, brow doused, TIRED!

We sluggishly walked back into the locker room and straight ahead was a woman - full monty, butt-bare a*s, free as a bird - NAKED! Are you kidding me?  Didn't a talented (and might I add very wealthy) inventor come up with something to cover all of that?  Why do I need to see your privates!? Arent they suppose to be PRIVATE!!!?


ARG!!!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not prudish at all. But seriously, it was like everywhere we turned, there she was - bush and all.  And I'm not talking about George W. She walked to where we were washing our hands, back to the lockers, over to the shower, back to the lockers...she was all over the locker room NAKED.

I mean, I dont need you to Captain Morgan me in the locker room. Seriously.

[Smile]

Mickey

Who in the hell left the gate open?

As a kid, I loved to watch the gospel commercial with the preacher yelling, "Who in the hell left the gate open." I loved it because the religious joke was funny and of course no one really wanted an answer to the question. Today, the gates I'm referring to are the flood gates of identity theft. Now, that aint funny. And I want an answer.

You guessed it folks. I have been the victim of credit-card fraud. This may not be shocking to you, but for me, I was blind-sided. See, I am the "I know you're trying to get my social security number" and "I'm not using my pin at a gas station" conspiracy theorist. Yes, I'm borderline crazy when it comes to my personal information. AND CREDIT-CARD FRAUD HAPPENED TO ME. SO RUN FOR YOUR LIVES PEOPLE! just kidding...

Here's what happened...

I logged into my account and noticed consecutive charges totaling more than $300. I immediately called my bank, filed a claim and started working with the vendor where my card was used. I should preface that by saying, "where my NUMBER was used." See, the THIEF does not have the card but somehow has my card number and according the investigator, cloned the number, created a card for themselves and hit the town set to paint it red. Bastards. I digress..

Of course I'm not one of those idle citizens. I'm filing a police report and calling the state attorney general.  Did I mention that the charges were at a gas station/food mart in another state? Wait. It get's better.

In the process of investigating all of this, I politely put on my journalist "hat" and my "I'm very pissed off" scarf, and started asking questions. Here is what I found:

• Did you know that there is a maximum of $100 that can be spent at a gas pump? (How the hell this is allowed, I don't know.)
  
• Did you know that not all gas pumps require that you enter the billing zip code to use a credit card? Remember if you use your debit card, a pin is needed; if you use the credit option on your debt card (or if you use a regular credit card), the billing zip code is needed. Newsflash: It is not required nor mandatory state wide for consumers to use the billing zip code at the pump when using a credit card or the credit option of your debit card.
  
• For gas stations, did you know that if someone clones your card but tried to use it inside the mart, the correct owner's name will appear BUT NOT AT THE PUMP? WHY!? (Sons of @$!@##!! )
  

I'm going to post an article on my Mickey Talks Topics blog with more sensible solutions and details about identity theft.

For this blog, I just had to say AHH COME ON!!


Mickey (pissed off and getting justice for all)

Well what do ya know...

I think instead of saying, "Ahh come on," I'm going to start saying, "HEAVENS TO MURGATROID!"

(LOL - my friend said this to me one night and I damn near lost my dinner! It's so funny how things from your childhood can be forgotten and then suddenly remembered. Also...I didnt realize how violent cartoons were back then. But that's a different blog.)

Check out Snagglepuss.  Even then, this cat had such a swagger about him.




Disclaimer: I dont condone shooting ducks or violence against animals for sport of any kind.

Make 2009 GREAT!

I wish everyone a very happy and prosperous 2009 [a year unlike Woody in the adjacent graphic :) ]

May your year be full of positivity, good health, wonderful friends and family, success and love.


Many blessings,

Mickey

Karrine Steffans on Jermaine O'neal (video attached)

I don't know if this is an "Ahh come on" moment or more of an "Ooo da*n" situation. You decide.

Karrine Steffans has become synonymous with the term "vixen" due to her 2005 tell-all autobiography and best-selling novel, "Confessions of a Video Vixen." Steffans has catapulted to the leads of mainstream entertainment, from Tyra to Oprah - everyone wanting a voyeuristic look into the life she lived as a video actress and her scandalous rendezvous with various celebs. Several derogatory terms have been used to describe Steffans, but what is undeniable is her effort to remove the "video vixen" label and press forward as a devoted mother, entrepreneur and novelist.

Below is post that can be seen on her site (Karrine) where she's decided enough is enough. I don't think it's ever too late to change your life, but for women, when you are labeled...it's hard to erase the brand. We live in a world of double standards, and for Steffans, her life as "superhead" may be difficult to forget considering she's made a successful career out of blowing the whistle on the celebrity men with which she's been intimate.

Don't get me wrong. This sister is articulate and smart and I wish her all the best, but I hate to see that her reputation still follows her.

Funny Pet Peeves

My friend and I were having a great conversation about pet peeves when we decided to expand the conversation to other friends and loved ones clearly out of sheer madness :). What did we determine? We are all a special kind of crazy. [Smile]

Here is a list of pet peeves I've gathered that some consider to be the ultimate pet peeves (gross, nerve wrenching, etc.), but in some cases, I consider them to be down right funny. Enjoy... 

1. Brushing Teeth Outside of the Bathroom. My friend says most hygiene should be kept in the bathroom. "I don't need to see it or smell it."
2. Public Spitting.  Watching spit leave your mouth and dangle in mid-air like Michael Jordan is disgusting.
   
3. PDFR (Public Displays of Feet Rubbing). Taking your shoes off and rubbing your feet in public can apparently be bothersome. Some say once you rub your feet and touch other objects, "feet juice" will be all over the place. (Just typing this made me chuckle)
4. Close Encounters. Talking so close to someone's face that you can smell what they have eaten.
5. Touched by Strangers. There's a story to this one. My friend damn near had a conniption when a stranger bumped her and felt so bad about it that they apologized profusely but kept rubbing her back to soothe the pain. My friend didn't want the rubbing. And the pain was gone long before the rubbing...and long after. But the rubbing continued. [LOL]
   
6. Sandwich Pressing. Making a sandwich and pressing down on it with your hands. The imprint of the fingers on the sandwich drives my husband crazy.
   
7. Residual Spit on Books or Magazines.  Ever wet your fingers to help turn a page? Leaving something behind other than the occasional ear-mark or highlight is nasty. Ewe. 
8. Surprise Stepping.  There's nothing like fresh-cotton socks. But stepping in a wet spot with socks on is unnerving for some. 
9. Crowded Food. Different foods touching on a plate. (I don't get this one at all.)
10. Share and Share Alike. Ever been in the club and a random stranger asks to use your lip products? Umm yeah...that's not cool and it's gross.
    
11. Blessing Food. Not what you think. It's sneezing over food while preparing it. And folks, I'm not talking about covering your mouth either. Ewe.
12. DWP (Driving While Picking). Because you're in a car does not mean you're invisible. There are windows. STOP DRIVING AND DIGGING! :)
13. Impolite Flatulence ( a.k.a. - crop dusting).  Here is another gym story for you. My friend and I were on the StairMaster and got a sudden and horrible smell. We were already breathing heard so the more we inhaled...you get the point.
    
14. Stop. Drop. Flush. Not abiding by the courteous "drop and flush" bathroom rule is rude to some.
    
15. Food-mobbing. Someone who admires your food and inappropriately smells and/or points at it
16. Grab Bag. When someone offers food (i.e. chips) and the person WHIRLS their hand around in the bag before getting what they want out of it...as if each potato chip is different and the choices are immense.
    
17. Toothpaste Squeezing.  This is just crazy. The logic behind this (so I've been told) is that if you squeeze in the middle of the tube, you'll have to expend more energy to get the rest of the paste out of the tube as the paste runs out. But if you start to squeeze from the bottom, you'll get more out of the tube. Go figure.
    
18. Tissue Placement. Over not under. (This is another one I don't get. Who cares? Isn't it all going to be used?)
    
19. Show Interruptions. Ever been in the middle of your favorite show and someone walks in and says, "What happened?" Now to fill them in on what they missed, you'll miss at least eight minutes of the show because you know they'll have questions. [smile]
    
20. Live Movie Commentary. Watching a movie with unwanted commentary from the audience like, "Fool, don't go in there!"
21. Hairy Soap. Soap with random pieces of hair on it (long, short, etc.) Ewe.
22. I don't know what to call this. Waking someone up and then saying, "Oh I'm sorry. Go on back to sleep."  Was there another option?