Sweet baby Jesus.

Hello world!! Oh how I’ve missed you all so. Pardon my absence. I've got a few projects I'm working on, but here’s a quick post to get us reacquainted. I promise there will be more to come.
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My co-worker and I love to stop by this pizza station in the cafeteria at our job to have fresh personal pizzas. From Pear Gorgonzola to Buffalo Barbecue Chicken – we love having a pizza option right on campus. Another perk – WHEAT CRUST – at our request. Ahh… just the best thing ever. Unfortunately, like the old saying, “All good things must come to an end.”

Lately, we’ve been noticing some rather unhygienic things about the server/preparer. From wiping his face to opening the kitchen door with the gloves he uses to prepare the pizza – we CRINGE more at the thought of the pizza station now than cooing at its fresh goodness. So, we decided no more pizza for us.

Well... so I thought.

The other day I decided that I wanted a pizza. Yes mama mia, my protest was over. I was going to politely ask that the server change his gloves or do whatever I needed to do calm my blood pressure.

As I approached the counter, all of my thoughts seemed to run together:

ok here I go, does his gloves look clean?, wait - he's making a new pizza, oh no does he have wheat crust?, awe sh*t, he doesn't, that means he'll have to go to the back and get it, he never changes his gloves, awe there he goes wiping the counter with the gloves again, why don't i just get a salad. 

(LOL)


Read the e-mail below that I sent my co-worker:

Damn it. Eating should not be this traumatic. (lol)

Vegan, You Say?

Hello world! It's been some time since we've talked. Well, I've got some news.

I decided to try a vegan regimen 2 months ago. I started with the goal of just completing one week with no dairy or meat. One week turned into two, two into three, and there you have it - almost TWO MONTHS VEGAN! The ride has been amazing. I've found recipes I love (to my amazement) that didn't have any milk, eggs, cheese, or meat. Who knew such dishes existed... :)

UPDATE: Within the past week, I decided that most days I'm a vegan gal, on others - vegetarian. I went from being a person who ate fish, chicken and dairy, straight to vegan. WHAT A JUMP!! Most said, "Ahh come on" at the thought. But, don't knock it until you try it! :)

One imperative task: You definitely have to take vitamins and ensure you're getting in the daily nutrients.

Although feeling good, I was starting to feel empty - not from hunger, but I felt as if I was missing something. So I decided that on most days I'm vegan and on others vegetarian. Only problem...I don't have a label now. I'm not totally vegan or totally vegetarian (well, actually I am, but go with me here).

So I decided to create a new label. How about vega-tarian? or vegatan? (lol) I cant help but laugh at the thought.

Well - no need for a label. I feel great. I must say, I like the mix of being vegan most days and eating a piece of cheese on others. Still no meat for me...

"To each his own." And right now - I'm lovin' my new found Vega-vegta-rianism life!

Edamame and potatoes,

Mickey

Thanksgiving Hilarity

After having my heart's content of delicious Thanksgiving eats, I sat, remote in hand, looking for an afternoon, drama-filled, Lifetime made-for-TV movie.

While flipping through channels I noticed an interesting infomercial.

Yes, I'll admit I'm one of those folks who is quickly drawn into the amazing things a particular gadget can do to "make life easier" (as they all claim). I'm always amused by the marketing and demonstration tricks used to make the product more appealing. Let's not forget the host who is usually someone with high energy, smiling or screaming while bombarding you with cheap jokes and charm. I love every bit of it.

With all that said, here is the infomercial I saw:



All I have to say is, "Ahhh come on!"

First off, I'm not even going to comment on the product. At times, I tend to have the humor or a 12-year-old boy. Enough said.

Second, the woman is smiling like she's enjoying it. (Yeah right.)

The tag line even mentioned, "...designed specifically for women." Once I was able to catch my breath from laughing,  I had the immediate thought - SOME MAN INVENTED THIS MESS!

But then after searching, I guess some marketer decided to expand the target audience because I found this:



Here, the men are all greasy and buffed. (Just yummy :) )


I predict this product will do well. Again, enough said.

On another note, this sounds like a new blog project for me. If I buy this, I'll be sure to write about it :)

Check out Ellen's bit on the "Shake Weight":




Hope your Thanksgiving was great!

Mickey

The Power of Mom

My best friend's son is wonderfully smart and inquisitive.

One morning he was watching the news with my BFF and a few clips of children getting their nasal H1N1 vaccination was shown. He told his mother that the nasal spray looked as if it hurt. She explained to him all about the shot, the H1N1 virus and what was happening on the news. But of course, the image of the nasal tube/spray going up the child's nose as well as the child's reaction...was STAMPED in his memory forever.

Mental note for son - check

Mental note for mom - check

Later that day, he and his class were scheduled for a field trip to the petting zoo. Of course this was heaven for a class of five year olds - petting goats, horse rides, endless running space, and last but not least, the infamous blue towers of porta potties. Yes, these dreaded silos of germs can be incredibly enticing to young children. The idea of going to the bathroom, outside - think about it...sounds fun, right?

My BFF watched her son play and was happy to be there as one of the chaperons. She suppressed her urges to wipe him down with sanitizer not knowing her willpower would be greatly tested soon enough.

Her son saw a few of his friends going back and forth to the porta potties. He looked up at my BFF and said, "Mom I need to go to the bathroom." She looked at her son, as all Moms do, and knew he didn't have to go, but would give a heck of a fight to join his friends in the tower of germs.

"Do you really have to go to the bathroom," my friend asked.

"Yes."

"Ok...go on. Get that H1N1. Go ahead."

Immediately, he had a change of heart. "Umm nevermind Mom."

Of course I'm not making light of the seriousness of H1N1 but I thought it was hilarious that he remembered he didn't want anything to do with H1N1 or the nasal spray/shot.

Mom's To Do List
Take son to school
Take son on field trip
Remind son of H1N1 - check!
Pick up cleaning

Folks - a mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do.


Mickey

Tapas

One of my dear friends and I got up one Saturday morning and decided we'd run errands and grab a bite to eat. We had:

• Garlic hummus with pita chips
• Lobster spread with crackers
• A few bites of turkey sausage stuffed with Gruyere cheese
  
• A small piece of a raspberry ice cream/Popsicle thingy (lol)
• Organic soda

Where did we go, you ask?



It was what we called "Tapas at Costco."  Baaaby we had a blast. Never have we sampled food for free and left feeling as though we'd had lunch.

We weren't completely trifling. We did buy some of the items we sampled. [lol]


Mickey

Ewe. Did I Say That?

Ok, so ...a few weeks ago I went to a casting call for a friend. The idea was to talk about how a makeover for my friend would be great because of this, that and the other...yada, yada, yada.

I spent part of the morning doing my makeup and getting my outfit together. There's a part of me that really rebels against anything that weighs or measures your worth by the way you look. Yes I know that's a bit overboard, but you get what I'm saying. I didn't want how "dazzling" (or lack there of) I looked to be the determining factor in whether my friend got the makeover. It was clear that this was my audition for the producers. I really wanted my friend to get the gig.

So, I slapped on some fresh threads and bounced. And yes people...I was fly.

I walked in nicely dressed and adorned with beautiful "I suffer for fashion" shoes. Yet, draped over my arm was another dress. (I wanted to be prepared in case the color I had on didn't work.)

The casting assistant looked at me and said, "Is that the only dress you brought?" [In the back of my mind I could hear my confident self repeating, "You look fly!" ...]

Or ...so... I ...thought.

Dont get me wrong. I wasn't looking for praise. The woman just seemed vacant. I'm not the stereotypical Hollywood gal - I'm a Midwest foodie who likes an occasional carb and doesn't consider having a big butt an insult. I have curves. I love them. Enough said.

Not sure if she was expecting a certain "type," or if I just walked in with a chip on my shoulder. Either way, after our greeting I thought (and answered her) to myself, "I'm already dressed."

[inside my head - @%&$#!$@! ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I'M LOOKING FLY RIGHT NOW! Geeze... (LOL) ]

Seriously, all that mattered was that I was comfortable and felt (and looked) beautiful. So, I looked at her and politely said, "I brought this dress in case the color I have on didn't work." She left the room, came back and said, "Ok, have a seat." I waited a few minutes, instructions were given and soon we were taping.

She asked several questions. Eventually she asked, "Can you name something that your friend has that you'd like to get rid of?"

On the spot and in flash, I described a sort of lime-green, fuchsia halter top. My quote exactly?

"If I had a match, I'd set that thing a fire now!" [Did I have to be so dramatic?]

Well...what I didn't realize immediately was the interviewer, the "is that the only dress you brought" chic ...was wearing those exact colors.

Ouch.

Well ...I didn't mean to insult her. Hell, who knew my immediate short-term memory coupled with my "b*tch I'll get you for not acknowledging I"m sharp" persona would take over.

No, really ... there was no pun intended. I really couldn't think of anything my friend had that I wanted to get rid of so I named something she has THAT I REALLY LIKE!

guess that didnt work...

Mickey

It Can Always Be Worse

Well folks what happened last weekend wasn't  my typical "ahh come on" moment, but more of an "ahh ha, Lord I'm listening."  Here's my story...

My car has been good to me. I've had it for 10 years and recently had to spend more than $600 on repairs. I am one of those frugal people who would prefer to ride the car until the wheels fall off. But this time, I caved and said to my husband that we should go to a dealership to see what they would be willing to offer on a new car. With the "Cash for Clunkers" deal, I was hopeful.

I walked in the dealership with my "I am not, I may and I certainly wont" 's all in tact. I was not going to lease a car because I drive approximately 50 miles per day (total, to and from) work. I was not going to pay a lot per month, but I was willing to consider about 50 bucks more than I wanted to pay. Those were my rules and final offers. (LOL)

All and all, we went to the dealership and LEFT after having decided that it would probably be cheaper to get the repairs and consider a car loan next year.

I haven't had a car payment in more than five years, so I was not going down willingly. Plus, with cutbacks at work, decreased hours (to avoid layoffs) - it just didn't seem like a good time to buy a car. So like I said - we left.

My husband and I sat at a red light COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING! From the car to work to politics to wanting more out of life...and on, and on, and on - we just COMPLAINED!

While in our silo of complaints, ironically, we sat patiently at a red light waiting to make a left turn. We made ourselves useful and complained more. [smile]

The light turned green. We sat there for about five to 10 seconds. Before my husband hit the accelerator, a pick-up truck came barreling through the red light of the cross street. We had no clue the truck was coming and would have just pulled into the street to make a left turn. The truck was going at least 50mph and would have slammed - right -  into - us.

My husband and I played out how horrible that situation could have been. There was a young family also about to walk across the street.

Here we were complaining about having to make repairs on a 10-year-old car that technically needed a tweak or two. Paying car repairs is nothing compared to the financial strain of medical bills or more importantly, the loss of life.

We humbly accepted our lesson and noted, "It can always be worse."

Mickey

Careless Whispers

My dad was driving with my niece in the car. Someone cuts him off and completely forgetting that a human sponge was sitting in a car seat behind him, he calls the driver an "ASS." But knowing my Dad, he didn't say it in quick flash. He said it nice and slow. Kind of like sounding it out but with confidence and extra emphases on the ending "s."

Guess what? My one and a half-year-old niece then says, "A-s-s."

We already think she just short of genius. Her parents spend a lot of time with her teaching her letters and molding her young mind. Here's the kicker: As the aunt whose sole purpose is to spoil, play, tease, and be silly - I called and asked to talk with her. My sister (standing next to her) handed her the phone.

Niece: Hey tee-tee

Mickey: Hey love, I miss you

Niece: I miss you too

Mickey: Did mama tell you what A-S-S was? What's A-S-S?

Clear as day she whispered (with a smile) - assss.


My sister gets on the phone and says "you hear she whispered it because I'm standing here and she knows she's not suppose to say that!"

Somewhere in between she heard us spelling it while talking about her, and like a sponge, picked it up.

Of course now we lend no emotion to it so she emphatically knows not to say it, but I must admit...it was hilarious.

Mickey

Chase THIS!

Yes. That's right. I'm giving you, CHASE, the finger. And to those who occasionally make deposits without using online banking, I salute you.

Here's my story...

I know some of you are not willing to admit this, but, I will. My account was overdrawn. There it is. I said it, yes - OVERDRAWN.

So, it's 6 pm PST and I feverishly go to make a deposit at the ATM (or what some of us Midwesterners call the CASH STATION). I pull up, hop out of the car with envelop in hand, dial my digits and ...what's this? There isn't an option in the ATM menu to make a deposit. Who has ever seen such a thing?

ATM options:

Transfer
Withdrawal
Check balance
Pay something
Scream
Cancel
Pay a fee (OK not this one but I'm on a roll here)


Since this is an account I rarely use (that's my "I'm responsible, don't judge me disclaimer"), I wanted to take care of this as quickly as possible and be on my way. This was an account that I opened in another state before relocating. Here in lies the problem.

Let me back up to the weekend of July 26, 2009. Apparently, this was when Chase would convert all WAMU customers to Chase accounts. I tried to make a deposit that weekend, and the deposit option was again missing. I called Chase and a rep told me to try another bank, of course I did. After three attempts (two banks), I decided to wait until Monday. Monday morning (9am) I go into the bank (that's now only open 9am -6 pm Mon-Fri, unsure about Sat.hours) to make a deposit. I informed the teller of the missing deposit option, he then told me, "Oh that was just for the weekend."

Fast forward to today - I called Chase in a HOT FIT OF RAGE and talked to someone who then had to transfer me to someone else. Five minutes wasted. The next Customer Service Specialist (CSS) I talked with, I explained that this unleashing was not directed at them personally (Side note: I used to be a CSS in another industry and understand how customers can misdirect their anger).

The CSS informed me that they (Chase) had no idea that I'd originally opened my account in another state [and therefore would not have been notified me of this inconvenience and/or other changes as a result of this Chase / WAMU merge]. DOES THIS IN ANY WAY SOUND CONSUMER FRIENDLY?  How would I know they (Chase) didn't know the specifics of my account? I mean, don't they own it (figuratively speaking)?

So... not only have the bank hours changed but for three months, I have to go into a bank to make a deposit. First of all WHO GOES INTO THE BANK ANYMORE!?

Here is what I know from the rep:

• Although all WAMU banks are now Chase, specific states are not completely converted to the Chase system 
  
• Chase sent customers a welcome kit, which did not include the information that deposits could not be made at an ATM in California until OCTOBER 24, 2009.  What an inconvenience!!!!!!!!!!! There are five other states in this group including Arizona.
  

Here is where I used knowledge from a past life and deductive reasoning:

I think Chase may have failed to pull a list of customers who opened a WAMU account in one state and  relocated to another.What a failure on their part if they did overlook this. I'm writing a letter to the corporate office. There are lots of inconvenient changes happening and why should the customer suffer. Granted this may only affect a small sect of customers (or may be not) - the inconvenience is worth mentioning.

Mickey (very teed off!)

Fifty Nifty Sexual Terms

Easy now. It's not what you think.

Even the average adult is somewhat curious (and perhaps appalled) by the title. But can you imagine a handout with definitions of terms like "69, bangin' and anal sex," nicely crafted and distributed to a seventh grader!?  Heck, I don't even want a handout like this.

Is this what sex education has become?

My family and I were having a discussion over the holiday about my seventh-grade God sister who was given a handout as part of sexual education class called, "Fifty Nifty Sexual Terms."

When you look up the phrase on the Internet, nothing educational for a seventh grader is worth mentioning. How is knowing the "69" relevant? Isn't that a different type of sexual education?

Needless to say her parents were highly upset and questioned why parents were not informed (through permission slips) of this class and why abstinence was not being encouraged along with the assumption that "they [teens] are going to do it anyway." The explanation? Something along the lines of socioeconomic conditions vs. environment vs. the need...yada yada yada.

1990s: I remember health class. Back then, sex ed was part of health class and limited to a certain number of weeks within a semester (generally after we'd learned nutrition and exercising). Sex education was about applying a condom, the reproductive organs and a place where you could ask questions that could have been too embarrassing to ask at home. Any frivolity was left in the class and to the comments made by my classmates. It was at the discretion of the instructor whether to answer such questions like, "can a girl get pregnant from pre-ejaculation?" [I had to channel a high-school, hormone raging boy for that question. Believe me, it was even more blunt.] Most times the teacher answered the questions because they knew although asked inappropriately, there was a need to know the answer. I wondered was this "keeping it real" effort what was in mind when distributing this form.

Bottom line: My God sister's parents were the only parents to remove their child from the class. They've said that they teach their child about sex but are not ready to teach her about "anal sex" or the "69." The administrator did not review the material the "instructor" was giving to the children, which is why she didn't know that these nifty terms were abound. My understanding is that the terms on the handout made some adults blush.

Perhaps the administrator needs an education on how despite what may be environmentally common, there are parents who preach and teach alternatives, with the caveat that as parents they are not all knowing.

Mickey